Comments on: Bipolar Infidelity http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/bipolar-infidelity/ Sharing Information About Bipolar Disorder Fri, 03 Feb 2012 15:32:32 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: nick http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/bipolar-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-582 nick Mon, 30 Jan 2012 01:38:50 +0000 http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/?p=14#comment-582 Luann: Thanks. She is doing just great and has been well for a year and a half. Mild depression happens but nothing serious in the mania department since Summer of 2010. I think that one starts to recognize the sings of mania over time. She is such a good wife and mom again. I thank the good Lord that she is so dedicated to her treatment. Luann: Thanks. She is doing just great and has been well for a year and a half. Mild depression happens but nothing serious in the mania department since Summer of 2010. I think that one starts to recognize the sings of mania over time. She is such a good wife and mom again. I thank the good Lord that she is so dedicated to her treatment.

]]> By: Luann http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/bipolar-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-544 Luann Mon, 07 Nov 2011 02:27:51 +0000 http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/?p=14#comment-544 Nick, You write "She is blessed to have such a great therapist that can describe the dark half of mania and it’s horrible consequences." I'd have to say that she is blessed to have you for her husband. Thank you for your inspiring comment. Nick, You write “She is blessed to have such a great therapist that can describe the dark half of mania and it’s horrible consequences.” I’d have to say that she is blessed to have you for her husband. Thank you for your inspiring comment.

]]> By: Nick http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/bipolar-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-543 Nick Mon, 07 Nov 2011 02:17:03 +0000 http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/?p=14#comment-543 Many bipolar people don't want to be described as hypersexual or obsessed with having affairs. They find it offensive to be stereotyped. However, just look up the topic on any internet search and you will find scores or stories that are so similar. I don't know how different it is for the sexes but Kay Jamison PHD says that research indicates that bipolar hypersexuality seems to be a bigger part of womens' mania. My wife has had Jekyll and Hyde like behavior over the last decade. I don't even know her during mania. The loving wife and mother becomes a lying, unloving, selfish, discontent, irritable and hypersexual woman that is capable of child abandonment, stalking a potential lover, multiple infidelities, stealing, manipulation and obsession with finding a new life and new love. Her type of mania has lead her to depravity that I can't really describe. This harsh description of her mania is actually very kind. What would drive a woman tha loves her husband and kids so much when she is well to do some of the things she has done? I don't know if it is simply because bioplar type 1 is much more severe than type 2 but my wife's transformation is startling. She has been so determined to confront and beat mania for the last two years. Before that, she longed for the high during the first year of treatment. She was just going through the motions. The longer she has been on meds and in therapy, the more healing and restoration has taken place. She is such a beautiful person again and doesn't want to lose herself ever again. She is blessed to have such a great therapist that can describe the dark half of mania and it's horrible consequences. Some of the stories I read are even more heartbreaking than mine. Be patient and keep praying for miracles. God has answerd our prayers and he is a God of miracles. Many bipolar people don’t want to be described as hypersexual or obsessed with having affairs. They find it offensive to be stereotyped. However, just look up the topic on any internet search and you will find scores or stories that are so similar. I don’t know how different it is for the sexes but Kay Jamison PHD says that research indicates that bipolar hypersexuality seems to be a bigger part of womens’ mania. My wife has had Jekyll and Hyde like behavior over the last decade. I don’t even know her during mania. The loving wife and mother becomes a lying, unloving, selfish, discontent, irritable and hypersexual woman that is capable of child abandonment, stalking a potential lover, multiple infidelities, stealing, manipulation and obsession with finding a new life and new love. Her type of mania has lead her to depravity that I can’t really describe.
This harsh description of her mania is actually very kind. What would drive a woman tha loves her husband and kids so much when she is well to do some of the things she has done? I don’t know if it is simply because bioplar type 1 is much more severe than type 2 but my wife’s transformation is startling. She has been so determined to confront and beat mania for the last two years. Before that, she longed for the high during the first year of treatment. She was just going through the motions. The longer she has been on meds and in therapy, the more healing and restoration has taken place. She is such a beautiful person again and doesn’t want to lose herself ever again. She is blessed to have such a great therapist that can describe the dark half of mania and it’s horrible consequences. Some of the stories I read are even more heartbreaking than mine. Be patient and keep praying for miracles. God has answerd our prayers and he is a God of miracles.

]]> By: Luann http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/bipolar-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-503 Luann Thu, 13 Oct 2011 18:00:07 +0000 http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/?p=14#comment-503 It sounds like you are doing everything in your power to control the bipolar hypersexuality problems and the resulting chaos and pain that it causes you and others in your life. I wonder if perhaps a medication adjustment would provide more control of the intrusive thoughts? I'm glad you have a supportive and understanding husband. Mine is really helpful and tries to point out when I seem to be behaving in ways that are out of character for me. Good to get it early if possible. It sounds like you are doing everything in your power to control the bipolar hypersexuality problems and the resulting chaos and pain that it causes you and others in your life. I wonder if perhaps a medication adjustment would provide more control of the intrusive thoughts?

I’m glad you have a supportive and understanding husband. Mine is really helpful and tries to point out when I seem to be behaving in ways that are out of character for me. Good to get it early if possible.

]]> By: lunajenn http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/bipolar-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-502 lunajenn Thu, 13 Oct 2011 17:10:28 +0000 http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/?p=14#comment-502 I am bipolar and have been diagnosed for 10 years, and have been on medication constantly since I was diagnosed. Before I was diagnosed I did have episodes of hypersexuality which were totally uncharacteristic of my normal behavior. I got married to my husband 8 years ago and since then I have had a few episodes where I have become obsessed with another guy. For me there is an original thought that might spur the obsession, like, "I bet so and so would understand me better or know how to love me better", but then the thoughts can become so intrusive that it is almost impossible to get them out of your head. Any random sign can be interpreted as a confirmation that these obsessive thoughts are true and valid. I can tell you I truly love my husband and I work so hard to keep these annoying thoughts out of my head and I still can't. When the thoughts enter my head I try to push them out as soon as I can. The hardest part is trying to not act on them when it would be so easy to. I begged my husband to take away my access to the money, that way I HAVE to talk to him about any major purchases. I don't have access to more than about 40 or so free spending money at a time. It's limiting, but so much better than all the guilt after making compulsive purchases. It's a struggle each day, and that is on medication. I am bipolar and have been diagnosed for 10 years, and have been on medication constantly since I was diagnosed. Before I was diagnosed I did have episodes of hypersexuality which were totally uncharacteristic of my normal behavior. I got married to my husband 8 years ago and since then I have had a few episodes where I have become obsessed with another guy. For me there is an original thought that might spur the obsession, like, “I bet so and so would understand me better or know how to love me better”, but then the thoughts can become so intrusive that it is almost impossible to get them out of your head. Any random sign can be interpreted as a confirmation that these obsessive thoughts are true and valid. I can tell you I truly love my husband and I work so hard to keep these annoying thoughts out of my head and I still can’t. When the thoughts enter my head I try to push them out as soon as I can. The hardest part is trying to not act on them when it would be so easy to.
I begged my husband to take away my access to the money, that way I HAVE to talk to him about any major purchases. I don’t have access to more than about 40 or so free spending money at a time. It’s limiting, but so much better than all the guilt after making compulsive purchases. It’s a struggle each day, and that is on medication.

]]> By: Nick http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/bipolar-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-498 Nick Mon, 05 Sep 2011 10:55:09 +0000 http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/?p=14#comment-498 A year and 8 months later after I postrf this, my wife has been veruy well and is more willing to try to prevent mania before it happens. Last August, she got manic and it was close to doing something terrible again. Family intervention worked after they noticed all of the historical signs and that she wanted to quit medication. She was able to overcome and our marriage is stronger today. This summer, she recognized that mania had happened 4 summers in a row and she asked her doctor to inrease her medication during these high risk months. It worked. I am so proud of her. Mental health reqires freedom of choice and she is making great choices these days. A year and 8 months later after I postrf this, my wife has been veruy well and is more willing to try to prevent mania before it happens. Last August, she got manic and it was close to doing something terrible again. Family intervention worked after they noticed all of the historical signs and that she wanted to quit medication. She was able to overcome and our marriage is stronger today. This summer, she recognized that mania had happened 4 summers in a row and she asked her doctor to inrease her medication during these high risk months. It worked. I am so proud of her. Mental health reqires freedom of choice and she is making great choices these days.

]]> By: Luann http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/bipolar-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-17 Luann Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:32:23 +0000 http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/?p=14#comment-17 Hi Nick, Thanks for sharing your experience and your philosophy. Your approach sounds like it combines both Joe and Stephen's. You have empathy but you won't allow yourself to be hurt again. I think that's a fair and humane approach. I wish you and your wife all the best. Sincerely, Luann Hi Nick,
Thanks for sharing your experience and your philosophy. Your approach sounds like it combines both Joe and Stephen’s. You have empathy but you won’t allow yourself to be hurt again. I think that’s a fair and humane approach. I wish you and your wife all the best.

Sincerely,
Luann

]]> By: Nick http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/bipolar-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-15 Nick Wed, 13 Jan 2010 11:42:31 +0000 http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/?p=14#comment-15 Being a surviving husband of a similar but less severe story to that of Stephen’s, I’d have to say that (like me) Stephen has a codependency problem. Look it up on any psych web site, Stephen. I’ll bet ya a $100 that you fit the bill to a T! Read Dr. Dobson’s book, “Love Must Be Tough.” I forgave my wife and we are giving it a real deal attempt to save our marriage and family. We have 4 kids and she is the love of my life but for the last 8 to 10 years, she was obsessed with another life with her old highscholl boyfriend that she stalked and wanted to have an affair with. She frequented internet sex hook-up sites and almost had an affair with a stranger. She had cyber sex with another bipolar man and ended up leaving me and our 4 kids to have an affair with him and start a new fantasy life. Believe me, this guy is nobody to be jealous of but my wife obsessed over him and had several sexual encounters with him and at least one other guy while she was gone for 4 and a half months in another state. Following two hospitalizations for mania, it took months of meds and counseling before she became stable and now she can’t believe she did any of this. I have to say that we have been together for 20 years and what she did was insane and totally inconsistent with her real self.. She is educated and intelligent but this disorder does not care. I can tell you for a fact that I do not intend to but up with infidelity or obsessions that would lead to infidelity ever again. I could not stand that kind of pain again. It sounds like Stephen would. Being a surviving husband of a similar but less severe story to that of Stephen’s, I’d have to say that (like me) Stephen has a codependency problem. Look it up on any psych web site, Stephen. I’ll bet ya a $100 that you fit the bill to a T! Read Dr. Dobson’s book, “Love Must Be Tough.” I forgave my wife and we are giving it a real deal attempt to save our marriage and family. We have 4 kids and she is the love of my life but for the last 8 to 10 years, she was obsessed with another life with her old highscholl boyfriend that she stalked and wanted to have an affair with. She frequented internet sex hook-up sites and almost had an affair with a stranger. She had cyber sex with another bipolar man and ended up leaving me and our 4 kids to have an affair with him and start a new fantasy life. Believe me, this guy is nobody to be jealous of but my wife obsessed over him and had several sexual encounters with him and at least one other guy while she was gone for 4 and a half months in another state. Following two hospitalizations for mania, it took months of meds and counseling before she became stable and now she can’t believe she did any of this. I have to say that we have been together for 20 years and what she did was insane and totally inconsistent with her real self.. She is educated and intelligent but this disorder does not care. I can tell you for a fact that I do not intend to but up with infidelity or obsessions that would lead to infidelity ever again. I could not stand that kind of pain again. It sounds like Stephen would.

]]> By: Anon http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/bipolar-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-12 Anon Sat, 05 Dec 2009 14:18:10 +0000 http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/?p=14#comment-12 Mania & hypersexuality are real, but I don’t know how to handle either. It’s not something that I can control easily. Take my meds and watch for triggers is what I do. Sometimes it works. Mania & hypersexuality are real, but I don’t know how to handle either. It’s not something that I can control easily. Take my meds and watch for triggers is what I do. Sometimes it works.

]]> By: Luann http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/bipolar-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-13 Luann Fri, 04 Dec 2009 20:25:40 +0000 http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/?p=14#comment-13 This is a tough topic to deal with. Its drawn alot of attention on the blog and several people have written harsh comments that I’m not comfortable posting. Please remember that people with Bipolar Disorder are not able to judge their behaviors when in the throws of a severe manic episode. And we are not lazy or immoral, nor do we use our disorder to justify or excuse bad behavior. This is a tough topic to deal with. Its drawn alot of attention on the blog and several people have written harsh comments that I’m not comfortable posting. Please remember that people with Bipolar Disorder are not able to judge their behaviors when in the throws of a severe manic episode. And we are not lazy or immoral, nor do we use our disorder to justify or excuse bad behavior.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/bipolar-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-11 Anonymous Fri, 04 Dec 2009 06:39:18 +0000 http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/?p=14#comment-11 Interesting. Having been involved in several manic episodes that have involved hypersexual behaviour, I’d have to say that both Steve and Joe combined would be the best approach for me. Interesting. Having been involved in several manic episodes that have involved hypersexual behaviour, I’d have to say that both Steve and Joe combined would be the best approach for me.

]]> By: Anon http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/bipolar-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-14 Anon Thu, 03 Dec 2009 17:02:28 +0000 http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/?p=14#comment-14 I think Stephen’s wife is very lucky. He is very understanding and devoted and willing to work through the manic periods I think Stephen’s wife is very lucky. He is very understanding and devoted and willing to work through the manic periods

]]> By: Bipolar Guy http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/bipolar-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-10 Bipolar Guy Wed, 02 Dec 2009 19:50:21 +0000 http://www.bipolarlifeline.com/?p=14#comment-10 I’m with Joe. NO way would I put up with what Stephen is putting up with. No Way. See you on the BPS forum. Like your blog. I’m with Joe. NO way would I put up with what Stephen is putting up with. No Way. See you on the BPS forum. Like your blog.

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